November 2009
2 posts
Following What?
There’s nothing wrong with “next customer”. Nothing wrong at all. When I have waited in a long and snaky line, likely being needled to near death by some sort of saxophonic melody playing from invisible but perfectly-placed store speakers, and I have finally attained the position of FIRST IN LINE, the call of “next customer” fills me with a sense of elation: soon I...
The Monies
Total amount of money I have found on the streets of New York City: $70
Amount I have immediately given away to someone who claimed to have just dropped it: $20
Amount I saw that person drop: $0
Number of bananas she purchased me afterward (not a euphemism): 3
Amount she spent on those bananas: $1
Number of times the fruit stand guy, who saw the whole thing transpire, had to hint and pry that...