Geese in the Wilderness

What is it about particularly wild geese that makes them difficult to chase? Are domesticated geese worse escape artists? Can you even have a domesticated goose chase, or are domesticated geese all meek and lazy or in a cage or tied to a fence or something?

Isn’t it actually exceptionally difficult to chase ANY goose, because geese can fly and you (probably) cannot? I imagine that chasing a flighted animal would quickly prove difficult. Well, actually, I don’t have to imagine, because one of my favorite pastimes is extending my hands outward in a kind of “robot ready for grabbing” formation and chasing after pigeons. I don’t have cable. Or access to wild geese. If I did, I would likely attempt to chase one.

Or, wait, is “wild” not modifying “goose” but “chase” as in “we wildly chased a goose” rather than “we chased a wild goose”? e.g. “Hey, Brian, you should have SEEN the goose chase we were on last night! Shizz was WILD!” [mountain dew, mountain dew, mountain dew!, Said Brian.)]

PROBABLY NOT. But I bet it would be relatively easy to get access to a domesticated goose. I could try it. Although first I’d have to convince its owner to let me chase it. And if I had a domesticated goose, and somebody I didn’t know approached me and asked if he could chase it, I’d say NO. I’d say no, because I would love my geese and not want anybody to cause them stress by chasing them. Also, I would say no because I don’t even know this man, and he is asking for something as personal as the right to chase my livestock? Maybe he would also like, oh, I don’t know, MY DAUGHTER. YES I DON’T HAVE A DAUGHTER. BUT IT’S FAIR, BECAUSE YOU DON’T HAVE A WILD GOOSE.

Ahem.

Anyway: who are these people chasing wild geese, and where are they chasing them to, and also “why” is the other question that needs asking. I DON’T KNOW.

Has anyone ever participated in a wild goose chase? Or seen one? Or heard tell of one? And when you use the phrase “wild goose chase” do you invariably picture yourself running after a squawking, flapping, helpless creature? Or do you, as I sometimes do, picture yourself as the wild goose, and others are chasing YOU? Don’t worry. It isn’t weird. Or, it is, but it’s probably fine.

In the long run.

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